Penny Pinching

I’m realizing that I’m gonna have to figure out how to pinch pennies better.

For real, yo.

I think I went a little too crazy this summer and I’m nervous about it now.

More accountability going on here than anything.  I really want that pedicure. Maybe now that I won’t use A/C as much, that’ll help. And if I wear my underwear more than once…. (just kiddin’ on that one).

I mean, I’ve still got more than $100, so I’m not all that bad off, but still.  I mean, really, I’m okay for now. Just okay.

I just need to be more careful between paychecks.

Had to say it out loud.

Maybe I need to quit the WW online. That’s obviously not going too well for me. But it could be. If I were the one to try harder.  I know I need that accountability. I just gotta get over this first hump, on my way to losing. Geez, I can’t believe how hard of a time I’m having this go-round.

Use food more, rather than letting it go to waste or go rotten or spoil.

Cook more meals at home (just like I used to do, when I was losing weight)…Hmm connection there??

Ah! Lose just a few pounds so I can go back a jeans size (of jeans I already have).

All is well and fine.

Just had to talk to someone.

Work Email

I really shouldn’t read work email on the weekends.

So we have this consultant we’ve been working with for several years now. I’m sick of him. I’m over it. I’m over him. I don’t have any more buy-in. I don’t feel I’m learning anything more from him.

We still “have” him one more year. To save time, energy, whatever, he’s going to meet with small groups of people and then those people will “train” the other people on this subject. Really? Really? Like we haven’t done enough with this guy?  Is the fact that we have a TPO really making the students better test-takers? (Cuz that’s all that really matters thanks to our legislature.)

Last time he was here, the last half of his presentation was basically a sales pitch. So guess who gets to sit through his spiel again? And then “train” the team. Yay. And he’s got wierd freaking eyebrows. I don’t like playing the stupid games. I don’t like “testing” out of activities. Yes, all good things to use with the children. Fine. Whatever. I’m over it.  Please don’t make me play the stupid games when we’re in a small group with you.

I’m telling you now, I’m not the best to do this. Why? Because I don’t have personal buy-in. But I’ll do it. I know I’m easy to replace in the classroom.  I can be a team player. I’ll take one for the team. I’ll feign my smile.

Also? A required book club? Really? I love being in book clubs. I enjoy reading something, discussing it, having fun with it. I’ve been in a few book clubs where I didn’t necessarily want to finish the book. Some I didn’t finish. But now? Now a required one? Yes, easy reading. But getting an email about how many pages to have read in a certain time period and questions to discuss. Really? Puke. It’s like the walls are closing in on me.

I almost want not to finish, just so I can say, this is ridiculous. Doesn’t he know I’ve got 3 books I’m currently reading right now? One of which is for a for true life book club?! (Middlesex), even though I cannot get into it?!  I’m sure this book will be fine.  Looks easy enough.  But, still. Whatever.

I think I’m more annoyed with the whole consultant thing.

Sometimes i count my chickens before they hatch (so maybe it won’t be so bad). …. But I really hate that the walls are already coming in on me, this early in the year.

Little Shop of Horrors

I’ve never had much fear, per se, of dentists. Yes, there was a long span where I didn’t go to one, period, but I’m over that and go regularly to see my guy. (He’s also my dad and step-mom’s guy. The family name is popular around there).  I’m usually not fearful of my appointments. Not of him. I guess I’m fearful of what he’ll say.

Last summer, I had a root canal. My dentist has already been good about telling me the possible outcomes, and the potential of bad outcomes.

Well, sometimes, he told me, root canals don’t take.  That’s what happened not too long ago.

Let me back up.

This past summer, I thought my tooth was going to explode. I was travelling abroad and although I did not like the idea of trying to find a Japanese dentist, I started looking. After awhile, my tooth stopped hurting, and I felt better. I was able to ignore it until I got home.

Just so happened that two weeks after my return I had my 6 month check up and cleaning (although it takes forever and can be a bit painful sometimes, I love having my teeth cleaned. I love how they feel so good for a few days afterwards). They asked if I was in any pain. I said that I wasn’t then, but that I was a few weeks ago. And I told my story.

Dentist told me to get new X-rays (in the office). He looked and said that there was in fact an infection there. (Still? Again?). He put me on antibiotics (you know how sometimes women get yeast infections when on antibiotics? Um, yeah. ) and told me to come back in a few weeks. I did. Little to no change.

So he sent me to an endontist. One that I guess he’s worked with a lot in the past. At this office, they took an X-ray of my whole head. He didn’t look at it long before he said that he thought I needed an apicoectomy.  He explained what it was and even gave me a copy of my head, on a flat sheet of paper. Kinda funny looking. He even showed me the nerve that could numb my entire face.

I’ve been taking antibiotics (and acidophilus this time) for a few weeks now.

I go in for my surgery tomorrow. I’m nervous. Sorta.  I’m not nervous about the surgery part. Although I will say that I’ve had a couple thoughts of, “Oh, shit, what if I wake up? And they can’t hear me because I can’t move?” I don’t know why. Actually, I think I’m having that because I feel like I’ll just be in a dentist chair in an office off a side road of a major highway. The other surgeries I’ve been through have always been in a hospital. In a hospital where I stay over night.

I also had to sign papers that said I wouldn’t freak out (read: sue) if half my face went numb or if this or that or whatever. I know they have to have patients sign that stuff, but it’s still weird. I asked the nurse if she had ever seen any of that stuff happen. She said not while she had been there. I swear she must have been 20. Probably been working there 2 weeks.  So, yeah, I could be that anomoly. That does make me nervous, but not so much so that I’m fearful.

I am nervous about the afterwards. Of the eating or not eating. Or maybe I’m not. I’m nervous about the pain. I’m hoping for some good drugs. And maybe a refill, too.

I know it’ll be good in the long run. I think the tooth’s been in a bad place for awhile now. I’ve felt that bump on the gum before. And now as I write, it hurts. Is that psychosomatic, or is it real?

Oh, another fear. If this doesn’t work, the next step is a fake tooth!  They want to do all they can to save the tooth. And that I believe. Otherwise I wouldn’t be going through all this.

So, send your positive vibes my way (I can’t talk about the actual procedure too much because it kinda freaks me out). That I can eat (lots of milkshakes, maybe?), or talk, or even able to go to school Monday. I’m nervous about how I’ll feel afterwards. It’s one of those things that I’m sure it’ll be better in the long run, because, really I think it’s been bothering me more than I’ve admitted to myself.

I’ll keep ya posted.

PS There’s videos and pictures on the interweb when you google search it. I haven’t looked at any of those. Probably won’t ever. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. Hopefully vicodin will be bliss, too.

New energy

I woke up this morning very tired. That alarm sure was early. Oh, how I love the “snooze” button. i think I hit it twice. That’s eighteen extra minutes of sleep. Somehow it seems that those snooze minutes are so deep.

Last week we had staff development at school. All we did was “sit and get,” with a few group activities and few minutes here and there to have on our own. We did have Thursday and Friday to ourselves, though.  Anyway, the half week (two weeks ago) and last week, I was so freaking tired. Like couldn’t keep my eyes open tired. Like chewing gum, drinking cokes, sipping water, whatever to stay awake. I slept in later than I have the past two days.

The past two days (and the rest of my days for 9 months to come), I’ve gotten up super early. But I have a new energy. There’s a new energy of having the kids there. Even the two days I had to work on whatever I needed to work on (I really am a slacker…) seemed to drag on. And on.

But having the kids there (at least for now!) reminds me of the energy that’s there. They’re still cute. Still innocent. Still lost.

The 6th graders aren’t used to changing classes. They’re so freaked out. It’s a little bit cute.

I loved, loved, loved my summer. I did everything and I did nothing. And I claimed I didn’t want to go back. But I guess I’m glad to be back. To be doing something. To be earning those hard-earned dollars.  Course I can’t wait for the 3 day weekend, but still. It is nice to have a purpose.

Unfortunately, now I have to shop when everyone else does.

Blech

As I’ve noted, I’ve gained weight this summer. No, not a lot, but enough that I need some new clothes. Just a few things to get me through the first weeks of school feeling nice. I’m hoping to find all I need in one fell swoop. I’m going to go to JC Penney’s in a bit (HECK NO to the mall!). Course I still need to shower. And I need to go soon since I’ve got stuff to do later on.  But the couch and pj’s and interwebs is so much more fun.

But the thought of going shopping? Blech. And, yes, I do need clothes. I want to look (and thus feel) good for meeting the childrens.  And we need “professional dress.” A few skirts and pants or some-such.

I went to JC Penney’s this summer for a wedding dress (no, not MY wedding dress). One of the dresses I got didn’t have a price tag on it, and I think she sold it to me cheaper than it was supposed to be. And the dresses I did look at were pretty inexpensive.

That’s all I’m asking for, people. Nice and inexpensive.

And to the gods of shopping, please let the crowds be thin and patient.

Big case of the “don’t wannas”

I think it was three years ago that I was really excited to get back to school. I went in early (I had a special helper go with me) and got things set up. I cut and pasted and colored a few things. I thought about desk placement and where this shelf should go and where I could put that file cabinet.

I don’t remember last year (if I was super excited or not).

I greet this year with mixed feelings. We hate change. We don’t like things to be different. BUT, last year was so bad. The kids were bad, we stopped caring, we didn’t feel supported… and it was a vicious cycle.

This year will be very different in a lot of ways. I think they will be good. Or I’m trying to stay positive and optimistic about it. I think these changes will be good.

I have to go to school today. Only a half day, but I do have to go. Wednesday, we go in “balls to the wall” as they say (or as I like to say).  I think a year or two ago, I would have gone early. Not this year. I don’t want to be there one minute more than i have to be.

So, while I’m trying to stay optimistic, I still am feeling a lot or resistance from within. I mean, seriously… I have to leave in a few minutes and here I am blogging away.

Ask me what I’m wearing today… I’m wearing fleece-like pants, a tank-top and flip-flops. Not exactly “business” type dress. But really, I’m still so much in summer mode that it’s all I can do.

And, also, I’ve gained weight this summer, so my good butt jeans are a bit tight. So I have to go with the stretchy pants. But whatever. They’re so comfy. And I’m getting there. I’m getting myself to school so I should get some credit for that.

Here’s hoping.