What is wrong with me today?

I got to leave work right at 4:00 (yay for no Children!). I went home, but didn’t park in the garage on purpose. I changed into my gym clothes, rested a bit and went to the 5:30 class.

Maybe I should back up… My first “What is wrong with me” thing. I was really hungry today (and before you make your pregnant jokes, shut up). I’m always hungry at lunch time. I didn’t get my snack today, so was super hungry. I forgot my lunch at home (not in that routine yet!), but JB drove me over to see my casa and to chill a bit.

Then, about 3:00 or so, I got super hungry again. Luckily I had some microwave popcorn in my bag (do you know how much better the air popped stuff is??! I mean, I knew that, but having air popped yesterday and that today…wow) so I popped that up. When I did come home, I had a bit of cheese to help the hunger.

Then at my class, I was so tired. The class was exhausting to me. Like I was supr tired before we really even got going. i think this led to me being distracted. Or me being distracted led to me not getting as much out of it. I even left early. I stayed for all the cardio stuff, but then left early.

Came home, and of course was hungry. So I ate some delicious stir fry. I did a pretty good job, if I do say so myself. (The sauce was a combo of a lot of things…you may not want to ask).

And it’s not like I really DID anything today. We did a lot of sitting around. But maybe it was just using brain power. And walking farther than from my couch to the fridge to the bed.

Tomorrow I’ll be better armed with snacks. And maybe my question of “what is wrong with me today?” won’t have to do with hunger issues.

… “I will after that call.”

I got The Callback from the dermatologist today. Called while I was doing important things (*cough* nails*cough*). Woman on message said “I have results to share with you.”

Puke.

So, I called and had to be on hold until someone who could read my charts could attend. It took her awhile to pull up my stuff, which made me nervous as I sat there in the parking lot, car running, pencil and pad in hand, just in case.

She told me it was an “irritated benign something-or other.” Then she clarified, “an irritated benign mole. … No other action is necessary at that time.”

Whew!

She told me to have a nice day.

Refer to subject line for my response.

Honey, Aww Suga’ Suga’. You are my Agave Nectar

Recently I had decided to try to slow down on artificial sugars. I’d use the Sugar in the Raw when at coffee shops or in my tea if in a restaurant. I still used Splenda in my coffee and oatmeal at home. I’d still use Equal or Sweet ‘N’ Low  in iced tea at restaurants (if I didn’t see the other stuff)

This summer, after talking to a friend who’s omitted fake sugars completely, I thought I’d give it a try. She said that adage of “the fake stuff makes you hungrier” is actually true. I know! She didn’t believe it, either. I can’t attest to that yet.

I’ve cut WAAAYY back on Coke Zero. You know I’m addicted to the stuff. I did have one not long ago and it tasted a bit weird. No worry, I pushed through the first sip and drank most of it. I’ve had another one or two since then.  I used to have one a day. On rare occasions, I’d have 2. (I think mom ingrained something in me when she only allowed me one a day when I was growing up.)

I’ve started to use Agave Nectar in my coffee and in my oatmeal. I had a bit of real sugar in my tea tonight at dinner. It needed a bit of sweet. I’ve started to drink un-sweet tea when I do drink it–which is pretty often.

I keep hearing how bad the artificial stuff is for you, so I’m trying it out. So far I’ve been okay with it. It’s been fine, and besides a few minimal cravings for a Coke Zero, I haven’t really missed the stuff. Unfortunately, I think the craving that goes with that is caffeine.

Expect more on this development later.

Why, yes

Yes, I did do Turbo Jam.

Thanks for letting me be accountable to myself and to you, my dear readership.

I did it and now I’m done. Yay. Now I can go get that Diet Strawberry Limeade.

Just do it…!

I know I should just do it. I should just do the stupid [sic] Turbo Jam video. I’d much prefer the gym, but it’s harder to get motivated to go to the gym when there are other things not getting me outside.  I.e. when I’m working, I’m out, I can just go to the gym on my way home.

There’s a few gym classes I could go to, but they’re not for a few more hours. I’d have to keep the motivation going.

I know I should just do the one here. I still burn calories. It still “works,” but you know. It involves getting up and doing stuff.  It involves getting up and doing stuff alone. Intrinsic motivation and all.

I feel I get a better work out when I go to the gym, but I know me. I should just do it here. Maybe drink a bit of iced tea and then do the stupid [sic] Turbo Jam here.

I will. I have to. I posted it here.

I’ll report back to say that I did it. Now that you’ve read it, it’s out in the world. I simply have to.

Guac-a-mo-lay!

I finally made my appointment to see a dermatologist. Another one of those doctors I’ve never seen. Like ever.  Must be the summer of getting that stuff done.

I didn’t see the actual dermatologist, but his assistant person.  (Sorry…don’t know what her title is). The nurse asked me a few questions about what and where I was concerned. She left and the assistant (geez…what is her title?!) came back with her very quickly.

She looked at the moles I had pointed out, then did her own search. She said there were 2 she thought needed to come off, the other was more out of convenience. She numbed me (on the spot) and shaved them off right then and there.  I guess she put them in those little vial things. I kept my eyes closed most of the time.

The one under my arm (in the pit) kinda hurt a bit when she took it off and kinda hurts now. I don’t know if it’s because of where it is (in the fold) or because it wasn’t totally numb. It’s pretty bothersome right now. And also, I sweat (how can you not when it’s 800 degrees outside?!), and I’m sure the sweat is getting into it.

They’ll call in a week or so to let me know what the thought is. She didn’t look at me and go “OMG, WTF is that?!” so that’s pretty good. Actually she was pretty dead-pan about it. Didn’t scare me, but didn’t give me full confidence that all was fine. The one on my chest she seemed fine with, though.

The other two–one was black; the other half brown, half black.

So, not much to report, really. Just an update. I was nervous going in, but I’m glad to have those things off.

Besides, scars are cool.

Dilations

Went to the eye doctor today. For the first time…ever? I know I’ve been to “check for lisch nodules,” but never to actually check my eyes.

They’re pretty good. Doc said I could get glasses if I felt like I needed them, but I’m right on the edge. It’s more of a prescription of nuisance, she said.

I did have to get my eyes dilated, though. Now that’s a weird thing. Wait, speaking of weird things, the air puff? Yeah, weird. Scared me. Made my palms sweat.

I also got to do this thing, “think of it as a video game,” where I had to click a little joy stick when I saw a little flashing light. I had that same nervousness I had when they did the hearing screening at school. Wait? was that a beep? Should I raise my hand? What if I raise it when there’s not really a sound and then they think I’m crazy? What if I miss one because I sneezed and then they think I can’t hear? … Same thing today. Was that a flash? Wait. I think I missed one. Will they think I need glasses? Wait. She talked and I missed one…

Back to the dilation. She put the burning stuff in my eye and then said I could go read in the waiting room. I was able to totally complete the People magazine crossword puzzle and then things got really blurry up close. I felt like my dad, putting things as far out as I could in order to read it. All I could do was sit there. Talked to the receptionist some.

I came home and turned off all the lights. My eyes and head still hurt a little bit.

Here’s my eye, all dilated and stuff.

Yes, dilated and red.

New Doctor

The new doctor I’m going to is a dermatologist. Twice I’ve had 2 different people (or more?) comment about a mole on my shoulder. I have a scary-looking one on my chest, between the girls, as well. There are a couple that I know of that concern me. And a couple that are just there, that don’t seem to change much. And maybe some that I think are nothing. And maybe some I don’t even see.

PA said “don’t borrow trouble,” so I’m trying not to, but there is always that thought in the back of your mind.

Surely I’ll keep you posted.

first week…boo

The first week of WW is always supposed to be a big loss. Your body getting used to the good stuff, letting go of lots of water, all that.

Wasn’t so good for me. Yes, it was a loss. But less than a pound. Disappointed in that, but whatever. I guess the sodium-rich soup and 2 beers last night at dinner probably didn’t help much. But I was really craving Tom Kha. And you just have to have beer with that. So, I had to do it.

At least it’s down a little bit.

Where the hell is the chocolate?

PS upfront: All those quotes are “supposed to be” in air quotes. Go with it.

Maybe the week of your period isn’t the best to start a “diet.” Wait…it’s not a diet. It’s a lifestyle. A “Live-it,” if you will.

Some days I can eat perfect. All “on plan” and stuff. Getting all my checkmarks for veggies and milks and all that.

Other days, though. It’s like I can’t get “satisfied.” Tried lots of water (ha, ha) to fill me up, tried protein in varying degrees–cottage cheese; avocado; and yes, even some peanut butter. Wait for it… on celery. Think of celery as an edible spoon. I do. Like chips as a vessel for the queso, celery is the vessel for the peanut butter. It was actually pretty good. The good, fatty PB all natural with the oil you have to stir in.

I know the first week is a lot of “detox,” where your body is getting used to you eating all healthy. It’s tough. And there are times it will be tough beyond this week. And maybe it’s just today. Maybe it’s the workouts the two days previous to this one. Maybe it’s the weather. Maybe it’s me sitting around all day. (but I did work out today, so there!)

Whatever the case, I want something chocolaty. I mean, sorta.  I’m doing good. And I have the weekend to combat. I know all of you have been there before. … It’s like I just have to get through the night and I know tomorrow will be easier.