You should know a few things about me. If you know me well enough, some of them you should know already.
I’m a hugger. I love giving hugs, I love recieving hugs. I think they are powerful. Now, I know some of you are not huggers, and that’s okay. I’ll give you your space. But for me, I think there is something powerful about the healing touch of a good hug.
I think hugs go both ways. I give a little bit of (joy, love, caring…fill in your own word), and from you, I receive a bit of (joy, love, caring, understanding, comfort…).
At a former job, a mom came to me concerned about her daughter who had ran away. She came to my office, we talked, she cried, we hugged. That was the first time in my life I didn’t “get” anything from the other hugger. It was like she had nothing left to give. She was completely drained.
It stuck out in my mind as the only time I haven’t “received” anything back from a hug, and that concept never meant anything to me until I had that experience.
Had my second one recently. There was lots of discussion, lots of tears, lots of confusion, anger, upsetness, hurt. When we hugged, it was like I couldn’t even open my mind/body/heart to it. I got nothing from that hug. I couldn’t let myself.
You should also know I’m a very quick, but good judge of people. Now, I don’t get “vibes” from people at the grocery store, and yes, sometimes my radar is off, but rarely has my gut instinct steered me in the wrong direction. Met several people a few years ago. (maybe more like 18 months??). I knew to be weary of them, and boy was I right on that. (It goes in the other way, too…. thus some of my best friends I have right now–that instant click.)
I’ve picked up on stuff from dates, from people at work, from friends of friends. Good and bad. I can’t always pin-point it, but it’s there. That “I need to be careful around you” or the “you and I are going to be BFFs.” I have yet to be wrong on either of those things. It’s like I can tell that something is just … off.
Sometimes I pick up on something and it’s not until later that I put it together. Like the guy I went on three dates with, who never tried to even touch me. On date # 3, he asked if it was okay for him to see me and another woman (Um, no?). Oh, duh … that’s why you were so spacey.
And sometimes signals are there, staring me in the face, shouting to be seen. Either I don’t see them or I ignore them.
And I end up wondering why I didn’t hear them sooner.
