When did you last…

When did you last…
1. scrounge for change (couch, ashtray, ect) to make a purchase?
2. visit a dentist?
3. make a needed change to your life?
4. decide on a complete menu well in advance of the evening meal?
5. spend part of the day (other than daily hygiene) totally/mostly naked?

1. I think it was for parking as I circled the block. Damn $7 parking!

2. Dentist? Not all that long ago, really. And an endontist? Like a month ago. I’m pretty good about seeing the dentist twice a year.

3. Good question … I’m still working on it, I think.

4. I went to Cru the other night and perused the menu before going. Just that day. If I’m going to a new restaurant, I try to look at the menu so my food issues are slightly at bay.

5. There was a Saturday not that long ago that I was in my pj’s from the time I got up (around 8:00) until 5:00 p.m. And that was only because I had to go somewhere.

I need a day

I’m right on that line of introvert-extrovert. I think I’m becoming more and more introverted. I need–NEED–that recharge time. I could “give or take” hanging out with friends, sometimes.

I have a pumpkin carving party to go to tomorrow. And an appt in the morning to make sure the make up lady doesn’t go crazy with our faces for A’s wedding.

I was supposed to go to a birthday dinner tonight. I wanted to try to go, after my gym class. I think had I not almost passed out in my class, I would have gone. We were a few songs in, and I felt a little … off. Almost clammy. I thought about who I could call if I passed out. I didn’t. But my energy went waaaay down.  There were only four of us in the class; I just couldn’t leave. I made it through, she eve said “don’t quit, don’t quit!” so I couldn’t. And she’s one of my faves, so I wanted to keep working. Like seriously, I couldn’t do the punches.

I told P on the way home that this week wore me out and I’m not even sure why.

Is it because 3 of the 4 nights (so far) I’ve been away from home? Is it because I feel like I’ve been losing sleep? Is it the allergies making my head full of goop?

I don’t know.

So I stopped at the HEB after my class, and got some crappy sushi and ate it. In my pajamas.

It feels good to be home. To be quiet. To be surrounded by quiet.

I need a day.

Dinner of Champions

As you know, I get a “CSA box” every other week. It’s jam-packed with wonderful, fresh veggies. Veggies I’ve never heard of, never eaten, veggies I love, everything.  Because of various commitments, I haven’t cooked at home yet this week. (Which is totally rare for me!).

I was home tonight. I had all these veggies to cook. I just couldn’t do it. I’m drained. I’m tired.

You wanna know what I had? Popcorn. Luckily, it was air-popped. But I ate the whole damn batch. With lots of butter sprays. I dipped it in cock sauce.  It’s delicious.

For dessert? Immediately following? An ice cream drumstick. I didn’t even wait to see if I really wanted it or not. Actually, I had in my mind what I wanted, but didn’t have any–that I saw until later. Of course eating like that, I don’t feel “satisfied,” but whatever. It was what I wanted at the time.

I also ate 3 pieces of chocolate on the way home.

I try to eat better than that. But the seratonin or lectin or whatever the hell those receptors are were firing. Or weren’t. (Obviously I didn’t pay enough attention to that article I read this morning!) Had I been smart about it, I would have either saved them all, or only eaten one and saved the rest for those needs at school.

Anyway, that was my dinner. No protein, no veggies, no fruits, no dairy.

Oh? And of course there was no exercising to be had, either.

Maybe I should just round out the night with a glass of wine.

Cake Wrecks

I’m not sure how long I’ve wasted on this site: Cake Wrecks, but I sure have had fun.

A few to whet your appetite:

And after I kept clicking and had already posted, apparently the cake that started it all:

Things not to say on a date

So the guy who hugged too hard?

I know he said a few dorky things during the date. And he did this little Batman type noise (like from the cartoons). Like several times. Like way too many times.

You know what I remember, besides the awkward hug?

When I said I was going to go to the bathroom, he said (instead of the classic “let me know how everything comes out”) he said… “Save me some.”

No, really. I’m not lying. He really did. I had just passed him and I kinda turned and I think he said something about being sorry, or laughed or said “just kiddin’” or something like that, but still. Wow.

Lina said maybe it’s one of his fantasies. Some people are into that. I get that. But I think there are other ways to broach that subject.

And, sad that that’s what I’m going to remember him as.

The Human Touch

I’ve come to realize–even if only in the past few months–that I respond really well to the human touch. I need lots of it. While I do need my space, I need to be touched, too.

I get pedicures for the massage. I get massages to be relaxed. I hug my friends.  (On a side note, I had a date yesterday with a guy who hugged WAY too hard and WAY too close and it was WAY too much.)

For those of you who don’t spend time looking at my ankles, my right ankle is large and gross. I had surgery on it, but it still looks awful. I’m very self-conscious of it. Once people know about it (like if I mention I can’t wear certain shoes), they stare at it.  I mean, I’m okay with that. I’d be curious, too. But it does mean I can’t wear certain shoes. But I see people notice it. I see the double-takes. I say I’m okay with that…but I’m also very self-conscious about it.

Over the past 3 weeks or so, I signed up to get FREE massages at a clinic here in town. The students had to get a certain number of clinic hours. I’m happy to help out the cause. The first guy was pretty good. Not awesome, but pretty good. He was very gentle around my ankle. It looks like it hurts. It doesn’t. It’s weak at times, but just touching it doesn’t hurt.  He pretty much avoided it.

When I went in for my second massage, I told the woman that my ankle didn’t hurt. That she could touch it, and that it didn’t bother me.

I know I’ve been emotional lately. But when she got to my ankle, I teared up. She was very careful and very gentle and touched all the parts of it. I have a scar from the surgery and she kind of massaged along that.

When we had the de-briefing, so I could give her tips and concerns and whatever else, I started to cry. I got choked up and was able to say something like, “you touched my ankle, and no one ever does that.” I apologized for crying, saying I didn’t really know why I was crying, but that it was good. I really wanted to convey that it meant a lot to me that she took so much time and care on my ankle. I teared up when I told the story. I’m tearing up now (and really, I don’t know what the hell is tied to my stupid ankle that makes me cry so much when it’s touched tenderly!).

I miss the human touch. Like caring hugs, heart-felt love, good touch. Not scary “I just met you and am going to hug you very tightly” type of hug.

I miss it.

That is all.

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Ice Cream Rules!

I always like to have something sweet at the end of the night. At the end of a meal. In the middle of the afternoon. Yes, I have a sweet tooth. Not as bad as it used to be, I don’t think. But still.

I’m a messy cook. I made pesto tonight (freaking delicious!)–small food processor. Boiled pasta (big pot), cooked chicken (smaller pan thing), toasted pine nuts (smaller pan), drained pasta (large collander), sauteed veggies (same pan as chicken), several knives. None of those things can go in the dishwasher. Dishwasher was full anyway.

I have a tendency of letting dishes pile up if the washer is full. I hate a messy kitchen, but also hate emptying the dishwasher.

So I made myself a rule. I have to clean the kitchen before I can have my (WW) ice cream. And I also have to make my lunch.  So I did both those things before I ate my ice cream. I even squished up some Chex on top of it (it was a small container of chocolate chip cookie dough). I like crunch in ice cream.

So, yeah, I have a clean kitchen now. And a happy belly. I’m going to see if I can stick with this. Either I’ll have a really clean kitchen, or my ice cream consumption will go way down.

Support Groups

So I’ve made it clear here that I don’t want to go to WW meetings. At least not right now. But I know it works. I know that’s when I lose. I really don’t want to go, though.  Several of us at work have talked about a support group, and some of us have done WW in the past, or are doing it now.

I took it upon myself to send out the preliminary email. Of course not everyone was happy with the time or date, but well, I set it up. And we can change it. I even said, “I know Monday is a good day to start, but I have a meeting that day, and since I’m starting it, I say we start Tuesday morning.” Some can come, some can’t. We may end up doing it some day after school. But whatever…

So I think it’ll be interesting. I made the stipulation in an email today that there could be no school talk!  I guess we’ll meet and talk and chat. Share problem areas, talk about good recipes, support each other.  I found something about having a work out journal, made copies and am going to hand it out. I said I’d start out with something. I intended to find some sort of touchy-feely thing, but didn’t really look.

I hope that having this support group helps. I’ve been doing okay, but not great. I’m not losing. I’m not having huge gains, but there are little gains here and there. With minimal losses. Maybe this will help. Maybe the fact that we’re putting money in, too. I think $1 each per week, and the person who loses the most (I say it should be percentage) gets the kitty. That could be enough for a good pedicure or something. Maybe that will help, too.

Anyway, we’ll see how it goes. Hopefully next week I can report back with exciting successes.

Fri(satur)day Five

1. Under what conditions are you most likely to cause injury to yourself?
2. What named mountain is nearest where you are right now?
3. When did you last eat something with coconut in it?
4. Who’s getting on your nerves?
5. Somewhere, somebody is asking him- or herself whatever happened to you. Who is it?

1. Oh, geez…walking? Chewing gum? No, really the chewing gum thing. I have a cross, underbite and sometimes bite me lip while chewing.

2. Named mountain? I have no idea…how sad is that? No, really, I don’t know.

3. I may have eaten a 7-layer bar recently. I think those have coconut. Otherwise, I don’t intentionally eat the stuff.

4. I’m watching the VP Debate right now. Sarah is annoying me right now. Quit with the winking!

5. Wow. I hope it’s Caron. I think about her all the time.